Pre-trip reflections

Have you ever looked around and realized that the right here and the right now, is probably going to be one of the best memories of your life? That you will never be able to experience such pure, tranquil happiness. That you will soon be amidst new friends, new journeys, new sights, sounds, and smells? Going through this whole crazy chaotic preparatory phase of this upcoming semester has surprisingly not made me withstand negative stress, but positive. Ever since I received my acceptance letter, (and scholarships, of course) I feel as if I have been floating. It is almost as if I am having an out-of-body phenomena that so many claim to have during a near-death experience or when flat-lining. I feel like I am out of control of everything, and yet I am filled with so much acceptance of this inability to control, that it is blissful. No matter what clothes I bring, how much money I have, or how many plans I attempt to make beforehand; I will not be able to control what happens this upcoming semester. And the knowledge of not knowing what will happen, or what I will do in each country, is quite blissful indeed. I can't quite put my finger on the moment that I stopped deciding to try to control every moment of my life, but it seems that this voyage has ALREADY changed me. I have already learned that I can't control everything, that planning is sometimes counter-productive. Even before this trip has begun, I already feel different. It is all too difficult to put into words how much anticipation, excitement, nervousness, joy, and wonder, have been coursing throughout my whole-being, all the while attempting to gather the complicated logistics of traveling to 12 international destinations. It is mind-boggling; the capacity of feelings that man-kind can endure. Are any other creatures able to withstand so many mixed emotions at any one time, and yet still feel completely at peace with themselves and the world around them?. I don't expect this state of emotion(s) to last, but I will savour it for all that it is worth. Much like this trip, I know that it will not last forever. But, that does not mean that I can't devour and relish every last minute of the next few months. For life is much the same way, it doesn't last forever, but while it does last; you should relish every last minute.